I guess I am without hope. Without faith. Perhaps, I am emotionally annulled?
Not once did I believe, trust, or have confidence that Troy Anthony Davis' worldly life would REMAIN…here on your Earth…within your universe…within your dominion.
My conviction in Man…In Justice faded years ago. I no longer apologize for where I am emotionally and religiously. The guilt is gone…the thrill I once felt when I had faith in your omnipresence is gone. It has taken a permanent sabbatical. The exodus began a few years ago in seminary. I remember the day…the moment.
On that day, my cherished High Point University class ring was stolen while I was in class at divinity school, Howard University. The sterling silver ring with the cross ingrained in the ruby. My mentor, Ronald B. Wilkins, gave it to me as a graduation gift. Do you remember how I valued that symbol of love and accomplishment?
Speaking of remembering…I asked you The Question when my idealism was stolen from me. Stolen by Reality. I was sitting on a platform of huge rocks above the Atlantic Ocean near the infamous Devil’s Bridge. You know that bridge in Antigua where you allowed countless African men and women -who unwillingly became property of barbaric Europeans- to commit suicide instead of facing the devastation of slavery? They perished in the rough ocean waters…drowned…devoured by sharks. You knowingly allowed Africans to be thrown overboard slave ships if they became seasick - but yet slavery still received an adulatory endorsement from you.
How & Why should we continue to invest in justice when justice is not given any 'divine assistance’…any 'divine intervention’? I ask because I am of the disheartening belief that you have not forgiven Man for a SINGLE act of waywardness. Perhaps, Adam was hungry? You –in fact- cosigned on the condemnation of the world. No second chance…no Genesis Creation Story grace granted.
Additionally, according to your Word you won the battle between Good and Evil…
Was Jesus death in vain?
In my unassuming opinion, you have not fully Shown Yourself as your Believers were led to believe that you would after a passionate prayer…after a passionate petition. We are repeatedly told, ‘Just Pray’…like the pilgrims told the Native Americans to do immediately before killing the Cheroenhaka Indians,
We are trained to believe that Man has a twisted excuse that basically 'covers' us. It resolves you, Father God, of all responsibility. We, with much holy fanfare call it, Freewill. Free to do anything we want. Ironically, God, this concept only applies and only makes sense when a person or persons does/do something destructive. ‘Well, God gave us freewill. Don’t blame God.’ However, when it comes to something good like cancer being removed from a person’s body YOU have/had your hand in that. You are the victor that’s crowned champion when frankly…your involvement cannot be substantially validated. So…you will save a cancer patient while we have freewill to kill each other with your approval, or is this your avoidance? Your retribution?
Does not make any sense - and I cannot sit back and believe with blind allegiance any longer. With silent ignorance. Indeed, I believe you are a mighty Dynamism, but I am concerned that you are highhandedly selective.
We need answers, Lord...WE, the creatures you created with the ability to question and the power to apply reason need ripostes. We don't need a highfalutin sermon preached by a grandiloquent preacher that glorifies YOU. We don’t need to hear from the self-ordained and self-chosen bishops who will only drown us with nonsensical rhetoric…verbal diarrhea…and irritates with a Toastmaster’s demeanor.
I am prepared to vigorously reject another non-seditious Sunday school lesson from the pastor who secretly understands that religion is his/her money-making mechanism to control the minds and hearts of your people. Creflo Prosperity Dollar has thousands of members while the likes of James Cone have only hundreds. We ignore theology, but use olive oil to ‘anoint’…we dance and shout on command and claim we can speak in tongues…but we refuse to read the bible without faith lenses.
All the genuine prayers for Troy Davis unanswered…No one deserves to die like that when questions and doubt lingers. No one. Wait a minute…I forgot freewill governs - and not You.
According to your saints, God, you are dead-to-center-right-on-time when they close on a house that they ultimately cannot furnish. When they purchase an oversize SUV when in fact the only passengers will be hubby and wife - or hubby and his ovulating (not horny) mistress - or wifey’s strapping boy toy. You bless all that?
You provide and make a way for all the morally deficient secularism (Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Modern Family, and The Bachelor) – but when a woman is being ganged raped just because she belongs to a rival ethnic group you don't show up…even after she yells your name. God, she is crying for you…she is not in the heat of sexual lust but in frantic terror.
Funny, during that ‘sexual lust’ you appear in orgasmic euphoria for those who are more than likely fornicating or committing infidelity: ‘Oh! God. Oh! God…right there…pull my hair…bite me…spank me. Put it in my…I am cum’in…Oh! God that was gud!
Brain response during an orgasm
The same genocidal rapist (the likes of Eddie Long) continues to rape and spiritually pillage day after day. Kids starve to death day after day. They die from a basic necessity (food) while I glutton myself at Ghetto Burger Café just because I am depressed.
God, you have not made this easy for me. Why? Should I be like your saintly androids; and trust that Your Will is best?
I can't, God. Not anymore.
Show Yourself…answer me…show Your Face. If I am mistaken…in the wrong…I will offer up myself for being totally off base. For being erroneous. I will give up my truth quest...I will trade in my life for Your answers. I will terminate my life like your son did for that one child that may end up nuked in a microwave tonight because the parents have your Will to be Free…a freewill that’s evil from core to surface.
And, please do not present yourself in the typical White Supremacy tool of Hoodwink…you come and not your immaculately born son (sperm and egg produces baby)…and God, there is no need to impress me with the unbelievable…I never have been…who you jiving? - your son did not walk on water.
Door of Hell
I will walk in bravely…
The Pseudo Preacher
No comments:
Post a Comment