Faith as a Pacifier

Having Faith is an act assumed –not secured- by the Believer so she will feel better about an outcome - and Having Faith is an impulsive pacifier used to soothe during a moment of uncertainty.

Expansion of the Believer's faith is similar to one of many pain relievers...it is needed and used when there is minor discomfort. There is an expectation for the pain to cease after ingesting the pain aid – but for the less than spiritually resilient pain killers are nothing more than palliatives falsely placating to one’s inability to Endure. 

Reality is commonly ignored during times of hardship because the reality may produce an unwanted result e.g. death, long term illness, and/or emotional displeasure. Consequently, what many of us do is fanatically hope for the best keenly knowing that the best might ultimately be a negative consequence -and the consequence most often is the reality because of someone's inability to control their lives…their lack of control to make a decision or have what they need and want. Thus, confirming to those who believe in the Power of Pragmatism –not faith- that human existence and all that occurs during our time alive is not under the control of an Omnipresent Force.

Yet, we are encouraged to project a confident demeanor as a way to enhance faith walks knowing full well that Reality is the Final Authority. Not Deity...Not Allah. Not Jah...Not Jehovah...Not Jesus. This –Reality- in itself is the God we should worship and revere.

We do the opposite of what is real because without a compass of faith the framers of religious conviction essentially have no foundational support for their religiosity…the tenets of their creeds are rendered null which produces what is preferably expected and devilishly desired, Panic.

Anxiety is the opposite of Peace. Nothing raddles the soul worse than anxiousness. It, with immense destruction, invokes unpredictability – and no one wants to be Lost.

Therefore, the ‘better’ alternative is to Believe…to have Faith. Which in my limited –but learned understanding and pending announcement of Disbelief causes some level of Pause bearing in mind both –the use of faith and not having faith- will never be the exclusive factor in any of our Outcomes.

Reality is the New God…

The Pseudo Preacher

This book –The Inward Journey- was a required text while I was at Howard University School of Divinity. Each and every time I pick it up -that has been often over the past eight years- I stumble upon a statement from Howard Thurman that enlightens me more and more...

The Solitariness of Life

“Here we are in the presence of an essential insight into all human experience. It seems, sometimes, that it is the solitariness of life that causes it to move with such intensity and power. In the last analysis all the great moments of profoundest meaning are Solitary. We walk the ways of life together with our associates, our friends, our loved ones. How precious it is to lean upon another, to have a staggered sense of the everlasting arms felt in communion with a friend. But, there are thresholds before which all must stop and no one may enter save God, and even He in disguise. I am alone but even in my aloneness I seem sometimes to be all that there is in Life, and all that there is in Life seems to be synthesized in Me. It is a matter of more than passing interest that this element of overwhelming poignancy is relieved somewhat by a clear note of triumph.” -Howard Thurman

Perhaps, if we conquer/defeat or even embrace/hug Solitary, we may just understand our purpose.

Peace Be Still is often times associated with the story of Jesus when he and the disciples were on a boat - and a storm forms.

I have always taken biblical stories and made them my own...molded them into what I wanted despite my objections to the bible.

In this case, my story is that Jesus was ALONE when he was on that boat...figuratively and literally.

We are ALONE when no one trusts or believes that everything will be okay. We are ALONE when trouble comes.

Be Alone

The Pseudo Preacher

Back to Church

Church…

Going for the first time since I moved to Georgia seven years ago was not so bad. And, it really did not matter that I went to a United Methodist Church that’s seated one block from three retirement centers, a half a mile from my place of peace, across the street from the space that will soon house a super-duper Wal-Mart, and a mile from The City of Decatur. I learned fast when I relocated to Georgia from DC that it is critical that I am specific about where I reside/live…the area. So, I guess I have fully assimilated when it comes to Decatur Distinctions. Too bad for me.

Church…

During the service I was reminded of the AME Zion Church traditions…standing up to sit down again and again. Why can’t the Methodist reformat their method? All the rising to stand is annoying. Bryce just sat there like the majority of the congregates. While Bryce is a rambunctious little man, his church neighbors are not. They are well over 65. 

There we were, going through the religiosity motions. Me pretending to know the hymns, earnestly examining the selected scripture (Matthew 18: 15-22) - and Bryce pretending to be what so many of the elderly in attendance called him, ‘sweet’. My son has learned fast that church people are easily hoodwinked and brainwashed. 

Church…

I was hoping to be fooled Sunday. I wanted my walk back into church to be different from what I have experienced my entire life. Unfortunately, my past was vividly revisited on Sunday, September 9, 2012 at America’s most segregated hour. 

The Age Factor…

Including Bryce and I there were five black people - but that was not the major difference. There was only three other people around my age, 42. The remaining sixteen people were of senior age. Of course, I love and respect the elderly. They have a need for worship just like young adults – nonetheless the shortage of youthful participation in church attendance is reflective of my most recent church experience…when I was a member of a church. I was 26 years old. A lot of time has passed. Time and my former religious faith have passed. Faith today for me is acquired via the result of my dilemmas or lack thereof. 

A New Day of Acceptance…? 

I sat there intent on receiving a message. There was a PowerPoint that accompanied the sermon; and there he was a black man shepherding the church. A black man with a congregation of mostly white people. Sign of our times? I doubt it. 

He was sent there by the United Methodist Church Bishop and confirmed by the UMC Leadership. Definitely, an effort on behalf of the governance to identify with the geographical complex of the community. 

The church is seated in progressivism. The City of Decatur – and its yuppie inhabitants oppose the erection of the retail giant, Wal-Mart. The neighborhood streets are plastered with “Kids Live Here, Drive Slowly signs and Please Do Not Litter in Our Neighborhood. Cautionary and cleanliness measures taken because the parents actually care about where they live. The schools are completely different from The Dec’s (black Decatur) schools. Different as in better because the parents actually care. A parental demand because the city officials refuse to act. The coloration of many of the families are other than normal. The rainbow parental structure is non-heterosexual.

With those liberal additions, UMC –I am certain- thought North Decatur was ready for a black man…a black pastor. No, not the case. 

Caring Enough to Confront…the sermon title

The black pastor’s sermon was one of church conflict. In-fighting…a sermon that was delivered delicately.  A discourse that if received with the slightest discomfort would get the pastor evicted. A homily that was for the old money ears…the white men and women of senior citizen age. The foiling of a preacher’s efforts is a common occurrence within church hierarchies. Does not matter what denomination, ethnic demographic, or age breakdown. Church people can be ruthless, like Lucifer, if they feel or believe the pastor is not ‘feeding them’.   

It was apparent black pastor was addressing the institution of the church, the white elders. They are unquestionably dissatisfied with him being in-charge. Not sure what the United Methodist Church leadership was thinking…old white people from/living in the south do not listen to black men. Pastor only got an ‘Amen’ from Bryce and the lone black couple that decided to join the church at the closing of service. They were not really welcomed to the church with a round of applause until the pastor demanded it…which was enough for me to revisit this: 

A many white people believe that black people are not worthy of the white God’s acceptance and grace within the confines of their House of Worship. 

Church…

was not remarkable. I went back at the encouragement of my four year old. I am glad we went! It was somewhat worth the one hour, and I do plan to go back because the embattled pastor needs my support and I need to be reminded of my life’s fragility. What I will not expect is for the pews to be filled with the future (young people), and I will not bet on the church being on one accord, acceptance. 

The Pseudo Preacher

Horizon Climbing, Selfishly

 *North Decatur Road, Decatur, Georgia, Heading North*

Another week is here. We are in the Now...the Present. The Here and Now…

As I walk up this hill I am reminded of my exhaustion. My energy is already zapped…The only motivation that I have to press on is my conditional belief and non-religious faith that I have the capability to effect change. A change that I need to be self-seeking…it has to be selfish if I want to be in my right place. It’s a place of giving and sharing. We must become selfish to become selfless.

When I arrive at the Top, it is imperative that my memory informs me that this week’s life is just another Beginning Point. The ability to be Reborn is in our ability to eradicate…kill…destroy last week…The Past. From our past Horizons appear. 

Upon gracing another favorable horizon we have to believe that this New Week will be different from the last. We MUST address our New Testament...our Covenant with the Inner God is all we have! Stop reaching outside of self for the Selfishness that is required. 

We can administer the Difference. No one else. There is nothing that should hold us back. 

See the Horizon...go get it. There is something over that Hill.

You ready to climb? 

The Pseudo Preacher

New Testament: The covenant between God and humans in which the dispensation of grace is revealed through YOU...not Jesus.

Why me, God?

For me to ask, why me, God? Could possibly indicate that I never fathomed I would be in the position that I am in at this point in my life: unemployed (no job within my ‘training’) for a year and a half, on the brink of losing my place of peace, and the potential inability to fully provide for my kids...there’s more but I will not highlight my MINOR issues. Yes, minor! 

After thinking about that nagging question that appears to have taken perpetual refuge in my left eardrum, I have concluded that if I allow myself to entertain the question or assign it to my life I am in a direct and indirect way communicating that the jobs that people do like litter removal, dog waste pickup, restroom cleaning, dumpster positioning for trash collection, and those other dirty jobs/extreme blue collar jobs that people like me, 'the educated', were CONFIDENTLY assured by high school guidance counselors and college professors that we would NOT have to do if we persevere...push on and complete a worthless high school diploma and acquire a few letters (BA, BS, MS, PhD) behind your name; I and the 'educated' would be implying that we are too good to be blue collar. I am not too good…I am fitting for doing the undesirable jobs. 

Thankfully, I have not recklessly succumbed to 'Why me, God?' Even when I type that question, I get heated...angry that others have embraced and waddled in, 'Why me, God?' Not surprisingly, the men and women who insulate themselves in this repugnance are the once financially stable, in foreclose homeowners, overpriced vehicle drivers, bachelors or master’s degree obtainers, and more than likely the impatient Starbucks customer. 

So, if you are asking yourself that pathetic question or have asked...please know that you are not immune because you are white, black, female, male, rich, excessively wealthy, with college degrees, or simply because you are an arrogant American citizen.

Eventually, life smacks us all...some just have to endure The Trauma of Life longer than others which by the way cannot be explained via religion. No one really knows why the most innocent and decent of us are living in a God-made hell.  

See your life for what it is...fragile and unpredictable...please understand that the unexplainable is not to be explained…and know that God cannot answer, Why me? If God did respond we would not/will not learn from the mistakes/missteps that we believe God has identified for us. Learning from our wrongs would reveal what we continue to search for each and every day, Security. No one is safe…

The Pseudo Preacher