Blessing, Coincidence or Charity

Christians are forever attributing the goods that occur in their life to a God granted blessing. Sometimes at the expense of not giving themselves any credit or verbal accolades for their hard work. Then there are those Christians that swear on their dead grandfather’s life that the reason they live in a five bedroom home and drive a big boy Lexus is because God has blessed them abundantly. Both of these versions of a Christian somewhat irritate me – but the latter typically fires me up considering the most devout Christians in this world are dirt poor. Where are their blessings?

Friday, April 8, 2011 at approximately 5:15PM I saw the words ‘Begin Fueling’ blinking on a petroleum dispensing apparatus. I was at the gas station, and without removing my debt card from my pocket I saw again ‘Begin Fueling’. Flashing! Stun and not sure what to do, I decided to remove the handle from the apparatus, place the device in my Jeep’s gas nozzle, I selected the 87 grade (the cheapest), and then I began to pump gas. After the rush of excitement and the nagging concern that I was being watched or videotaped I took a deep breath and relaxed. I calmed down! The gas stopped dispensing at $40. Then I got in my aged SUV and drove off.

Now, do understand that I am on a strict budget. Really strict. Unemployment insurance just gets me by…barely. It is hilarious how I stroll around the grocery store seeking the BEST deal on all items that Judah, Bryce, and I need for nourishment. Funny…until I see a random person with a cart full of all the goodies I once engulfed when I could afford them and when I did not give a damn about what I put in my bodily temple. Within seconds I developed a slight tingle of heat that rushed down my back while eyeballing the dressed in pajamas, head scarf and flip flop wearing, bad weave job profiling, and food stamp card carrying individual yelling at her child.

When the fire settles on my trapezius muscles I acknowledge that my past and present life can be characterized as a, Blessing. But, I of course do not dismiss the hard work I have contributed to what I deem as success. I humbly give myself credit and pay homage to my LIFE inspirations e.g. Donnie Holt and Tracy Barnes. And, definitely in no way whatsoever do I give all the praise to God. Nope…not me! If I do that it would mean that I believe God is controlling my affairs. Directing my destiny. I just cannot accept that God is that concerned about my privileged life considering the most righteous of us are going without while I am not missing a meal and drinking Miller High Life like water.


So after reading this, and not that I believe that I have changed your church-learned belief please answer:

What was my episode at the gas pump on the 8th: Blessing or Coincidence?

You think on that while continuing to read.

Friday –I want to believe- was a gracious display of Paying it Forward. Charity. I truly want to conclude that the individual that drove off prior to my arrival was interjecting a Samaritan act into Friday’s unpredictable atmosphere. I want to believe that I am the recipient of a Good Deed. I want to believe that someone was simply trying to help out the next man/woman. You know what? This –all of my ‘I wants”- are what I am GOING to believe!

I will not dismissingly toss it up as coincidence…I will not self-centeredly toss it up as God’s work. Nope, I will not do that! Instead, as I have stated above, Friday’s event was a gesture of giving.
We can change the world with heartfelt acts (after all the disappointment I still believe this...). We can also literally reformat our religious beliefs in such a way that they will work for us and others no matter where we stand in God’s House.

Pay it Forward.

The Pseudo Preacher